The development of sexuality goes on in the above
described fashion during the first three-four years. Then it takes on a more
calm character and is no longer the source of contradictory motions. But during
those three to four years of sexual development the need for love grows, and
the Eros becomes mature. Sometimes those two spheres (sexuality and Eros) are
not very different from one another (although their ways are diverse). But
sometimes they are considerably different and even appear to be disturbing to
each other. Along with purely sexual imagination, in the realm of Eros,
nourished with music, movies, arts, or novels, imagination becomes a powerful
force. Eros reveals itself then through youthful pensiveness or a melancholy
dreaminess.
Girls want to be "liked," start to care
about their appearance, look for being in boys’ companies, generally speaking,
they become "little women," falling in love, getting jealous, etc.
Boys intensely try to look older, imitating different "heroes" and
also falling in love. In general, the Eros’ motions at this initial period are
fearful, shy, seemingly looking for obstacles in order to hide behind their
back, to conceal their innermost feelings from strangers; they may seem to be
comic, but at the same time touching in their freshness and idealism.
These romantic feelings possess a great creative
power. They are the source of the powerful wings that lift the soul into the
ideal world. Vladimir Solovyov wrote an excellent essay on this subject named
"The meaning of love." After Plato’s "Feast" it is one of
the most genial works in world literature dedicated to the philosophy of Eros.
The value of gender mainly consists in a longing
for love that becomes the source of the "fire" that fills one’s
heart. Sexuality is just the expression those internal movements produce in the
bodily sphere. Since the body is the soul’s tool, sexuality only conveys and
expresses the love that is burning in the soul; the body is like an
instrument that through its sounds conveys the melody played by the musician.
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